moment of truth.

High School is OVER.
time to move on and not look back. returning home ended up being really stressful at first. I basically wanted to be hanging out with all my high school friends like we used to... That is not going to happen.
I am old...er... and i can't go back to those days now. No matter how bad, or how not bad, i want to.
Therefore, goodbye high school, we cannot have that relationship again...
thank goodness.
I am ready to completely let go, things have been settled and i think i can enjoy the rest of my break without stressing about anything. (especially that ridiculous drama, which is the reason i left Mesa) i just get to enjoy the time i have with my family and my best friends.
I don't know what i was thinking trying to hold onto the past like that. soooooo not worth it.
<3

Last night i got the privilege to go to the airport with The Clouse Family to pick up my bestest friend. They even bought me a turtle neck so I could match them. wow. i love that family with my whole heart.
ANNOUNCEMENT EVERYONE!
Haleigh cried when she saw me. Alright, maybe she cried because she got to see her family too... but I am going to tell myself it was because she was so overly joyed to see me.





um.. i really dont know what else to say, i just really wanted to blog. 

4 more days till
CHRISTMAS! :)


yippeeee.

it's time.

I can't wait to be back in the 85213 :) I really do miss Arizona and I didn't realize how much I absolutely love it till I left! I would choose 120 degree weather and the scorching sun over negative degree weather and blistering wind, any day. ANY. DAY.


I am coming home.
<3


The things I'm going to do when i get home:
1. go to venezia's and bahama bucks with my bestie james.
2. attack william scott cook.
3. go work out at good ol' Mountainside Fitness.
4. chill with my fab five brothers and mother :)
5. attack haleigh nicole clouse along with baby mak.
6. wrap christmas presents.
7. more christmas shopping.
8. more wrapping.
9. do nothing because i have NO HOMEWORK!
10. reunite with the gang.
11. bakebakebakebakebakebake.
12. visit my two cutie grandmas.
13. go see the temple lights!
14. hang out with adds and code.
15. sing christmas music, all day.
16. play my beautiful piano and cello that i miss so much.
17. avoid painting my nails on a daily basis, I'm getting obsessed.
18. go ice skating.
19. shop with my mommy.
20. Skype people, like crazy.


the only thing i am absolutely NOT looking forward to is the 16 hour car ride with my brother...
good thing Taylor Reber is coming with me! He will keep our fighting to a minimum.



I don't know how I am going to last almost three weeks without seeing Casey Nielsen.

so i don't love him. but Joy loves us. and he is the greatest boyfriend ever :)
!!!!THANK GOODNESS FOR SKYPE!!!!

i love cd's, made by casey.


now that i have ranted about him so much... let's move on.
ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS TILL I SEE HALEIGH NICOLE CLOUSE

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
<3 i am so excited <3


This is going to be the best Christmas ever!!

happy christmastime, from the burg.

my opinion matters.

I am sure by now the whole world has heard about BYU Idaho and the Skinny Jeans scandal. 

puhhhleaseeee. 

If that is really going to sway your opinion about how you feel about the church or coming to this school, you are retarded. seriously.

NO, skinny jeans are not banned from being worn on campus. 

YES, they don't want you to be wearing pants that are so tight you can see everything. 

If they are going to tell me I can't wear my jeans though, fine. I will just scrap up some money from my poor college account that is rather anorexic (or should I say bulimic because it just keeps throwing that money up somewhere) and go out and find a couple more pairs of jeans. 

After all, I did sign the honor code.

Moving on to....

finals. 

oh my, I have a few choice words to say about a couple of my classes.

Finance, cool.

College Success, what a joke.

Book of Mormon, my final is getting to the celestial kingdom someday.

American Foundations, please, shoot me now. I just want to pass.

Science, why is my grade so fetching low. 

Finals are designed to make college students spend two weeks doing nothing but stressing out and locking themselves in their rooms or marrying a seat in the library and doing nothing but going through old quizzes, reading textbooks, emailing teachers questions, getting last minute tutoring sessions from tutors who need to study as well and just crying from studying so much. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? 

So eventually someday we can graduate from this place called college with a degree and major that we changed more than just once and so we can get a job or start a new groundbreaking company so we can eventually all be rich and have whatever we want with that beach house and 7 boats sitting in our multi-million dollar garage alongside our pimped out Escalade and Ferrari.

finals. 

Someday, they might be worth it. Today, they just give me a headache.

Now, onto more important matters. 

HOT CHOCOLATE. 

Since Rexburg, or Idaho for that matter, doesn't have Quik Trip's I have to settle for something a little more... available. Like, Maverik's or those tubs or hot cocoa mix sitting in my pantry. On a weekly basis since I have been to school I have probably drank 3 to 4 cups a week. Roughly.

The coldest it has got here so far has been -2.

Now, back in Arizona, where freezing there is just below 50 degrees, I probably drank about 8 to 9 cups of hot chocolate a week. Pathetic? no. I just really loved hot chocolate.

Unfortunately, now that I FINALLY have a good excuse to drink hot chocolate, it not longer interests me as much as it did. 

bummer. 

My best friend, William Scott Cook, is headed to the Great Boise, Idaho Mission on February 29th. 

I don't think anyone understands how absolutely excited I am for this boy.

Number one because my letters will get to him sooooo fast. 

Number two because he is my best friend and i love him to pieces.

And Number three because why wouldn't I be excited!? 

Nothing can break our bond. Not distance, not a mission, not a boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing. People say that your friends from high school will just disappear when you go to college. But I strongly disagree. 

Here's to many years ahead of us on this road of uncertainty. 

dedicated to the girls.

My friends like to complain when there aren't pictures of them on my blog....

hint hint, becca freakin nygaard.

i love her anyways. 

This is becs. and her twin brother Isaac. 

all you need to know about Isaac is that he is probably one of the coolest kids I have ever met. I am going to marry him... wait, what? don't tell him that.
wait, this is supposed to be about muh girls... 

i love gingers. 

This is adds. She likes pretzels and peanut butter along with popcorn and garlic salt. 

I love her. a lot. and she is going to be my roomie winter semester. yessssssss.

i love blondes.

this is natalie. I miss her so freaking much. 4 hours away is just way too far. and i am just not smart enough to get into provo.. and i like Idaho. <3 

Kanye is lookin mighty fine. and i can't wait for christmas time so we can be together allllll break :)

i love brunettes. 

this is little mik. AKA my mini me! i miss this girl so much. 

Probably one of the most amazing piano players/singers/accompanist/everything ever.
I can't wait to see her at christmas time!
I love twins!

Danielle. and matthew loren pace.
Probably the cutest couple ever. But, i seriously just love this little girl to death. even though she is taller than me.. but most people are.
I just remember when we sat in my car one night and we poured our hearts out to each other. Goodness i love her!
Yay for missionaries!

HAYLEY!
my other hayley friend. So, i didn't really know this girl till the end of senior year because we basically were scared of each other... weird, right? hahahaha
good thing we are practically best friends now, love.
yay for mountains and sunrises!

the clouse girls.
I have no idea what my life would be without these girls. seriously. they are basically my sisters, unofficially. We are probably the weirdest craziest most hyper girls ever when we are all together. So cray cray. Makayla is like the little sister i never had and Haleigh is like the best friend that i knew would come around one day. We are pretty much the same person, minus the fact i suck at sports and she rocks.
Even though Haleigh is a whole ocean away from me now... we will be bestiessss 4 lyfeeee.
yay for fake sisters!

I cannot wait to for Christmas time when i can see all my AZ girls again! and i can't wait for spring semester with my cute little blonde and ginger friends :)

LOVE MUH GIRLS!

<3

not a good time

I should not be posting something right now. 

Want to know why? 

Because I should definitely be in my American Foundations class anddddd I am now. 

I would rather write instead of learning about history, sue me. 

I'm a BUSINESS MANAGEMENT MAJOR!

Why in the heck do I need to learn about AMERICAN HISTORY. 

it is completely pointless to me.

i learned all this stuff my senior year, i don't want to learn it again. 

Now my rant about that stupid class is over. 

it is almost Thanksgiving!

I would usually be really excited, but unfortunately, I'm not. 

I don't get to go home and spend Thanksgiving with my family :( 

Instead, I am headed to Boise tonight with my brother and his girlfriend and a couple of her roommates to my brother's girlfriend's aunt's house. 

what's up. 

To be completely honest i am not that most excited person to be going on this trip. 

and i am also not a happy person when my annoying roommates sing at the top of their lungs. 

i love you sarah, but shut up. 

I miss freaking my best friend addy. 

She is a little goober and currently in Cali with her boo. 

I also miss the heck out of these kids. 

I would seriously give ANYTHING to see them all right this second.

I love my beehive girls

my best friends

my gorgeous cousins.

my amazing brothers

and especially my mommy.

But i think the person i might miss the most is my bestest friend...

William Scott Cook.

Even though some times he pretends to not like me while we are in public, secretly, he really does.

and i miss the heck out of him. only one more month till thanks giving and i get to see him

 and lastly the person i miss the MOSTMOSTMOST....

Haleigh Nicole Clouse. 

Even though she is having the time of her freaking life in Hawaii i can't help but imagine how much more fun Idaho would be with her here and as my roommate.

I am pretty sure this girl knows everything about me and she is practically my other half. 

I don't know how I have been surviving without her. seriously..

i can't wait till christmas time! 

Things I am thankful for:

my family

my mom

the gospel

BYU Idaho

my cousins

 best friends

my car

singing

music

my ward

the internet

Riesens

books

clothes

bags

shoes

gloves, scarves, hats, jackets, boots, sock

michael buble

boys

nail polish

vacuums

cleaning

roommates

the library

the crossroads

taco bell

dr. pepper.

house

pretty little liars

my computer

my bed

snow

dontell

movie nights

blankets 

and....

this world. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

time for an update

I have been working really hard in school lately so I haven't had a lot of free time to just update this little bloggy blog of mine. But here goes a looooong update. 

Let's start with Halloween. 

Unfortunately, Halloween lasted for way too long this year. 

Fortunately, the actual Halloween night was pretty fun. Me and my best friend Addy Baldwin dressed up as truckers for a Halloween party 

 Then we dressed up as babies for a party that was actually on Halloween. I do not have the pictures of that though. Such a fun weekend!

I LOVE THEM!

This is one of our best friends Pace! We love him <3 he was Peter Pan :)

mmmmm :) 

Streaking is DEF not allowed in the burg of rex.

Boys really like to make me breakfast sometimes. 

We love these boys! We have known them since the first day we showed up at BYU Idaho. 

I TEAM FRIENDS FOR LYFE.

i love love love getting missionary letters from my boy Elder Frame :) 

He is just too great, words cannot express. 

 BEFORE

AFTER

alright, so me and addy like to melt starburst in the microwave, what of it?

I love these girls with my whole freaking heart. 

Denny's at 1 am though... not worth it.

and this is my ginger. forever and ever <3

and they are in love.

We had so much fun in the backseat.

SO HAPPY I GOT TO SEE MY BABY GURL NAT!!!! <3

I love James Nicolas Parker. He is the only person that knows everything about me and the only person that has completely figured me out. We know each other so well that we can piss each other off by saying a few words and then love each other again with a few more words. I am so happy I got to see this boy this past weekend. Just made me remember what fun times we have had together and he reminded me that i am actually a really fun person. i love him!

omg... beccas room. nuff' said.

Yeah, you could say that college is the greatest experience ever.... because it absolutely is. I am so glad I chose to come to BYU Idaho a semester early. I have made so many friends that I will be friends with forever and I have grown up so much since I have been here. It is hard to believe because I feel like all I have been doing is messing around. But really guys, I think I am pretty mature.

but.

 It's sad, but some boys are still the same after their missions as they were before. The drama doesn't all go away, you just handle it in a different way when you are living on your own and taking care of yourself and you don't have your mom right down the hall from you to go cry to when a boy breaks your heart or calls you mean names. The best way to deal with it, move on. There is always something better around the corner :) and with a little faith, everything will work out in the end. 

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end"

My new favorite quote and motto I have been sticking by.

Yeah, my heart has already been broken since I have been here and guess what, it was patched up too because no boy who calls you names to your face is worth your time. NOT AT ALL! It does not matter how cute they are, if they are mean, they are not worth it. 

I get to see this lovely lady December First. I AM STOKED! I have missed my momma so much. 

It is so hard to be away from home knowing that my little brothers are still growing up without me there to help them and go to their football and basketball games and choir and orchestra concerts. These are probably the most amazing boys that I have ever met. Not one of them will complain about how hard their life is, but I have held all of these boys while they have cried. They are the sweetest, cutest, and funnest boys ever. I am so blessed to be eternally sealed to this rowdy group. And that gorgeous woman I am sitting next to has got to be one of the strongest moms on this planet. There is no way that she is human. She has got to have super powers or something, basically raising all of us kids by herself, now completely raising the young ones by herself. She is one amazing mom. And she still manages to have a ton of fun and be incredibly teenage like sometimes. I love her and I can't wait for her to come visit me in two weeks <3

"We may not have it altogether, but together we have it all"

We have accepted that we aren't normal. But we are absolutely content with our weird life.

Now on that note, ONE MORE WEEK TILL THANKS GIVING! I am ready to stuff my face. 

gobble gobble

as of recent.

I am really only updating this right now because my best friend Haleigh Clouse updated hers, and caden really wants to know whats happening in my life. 

So here goes nothing. 

Rexburg > Mesa.

I absolutely love it here. I do not miss Arizona AT ALL. Don't get me wrong, the people in Mesa are freaking fantastic. But Mesa itself. eh. not so fantastic. 

It is officially turning into winter here. This Wednesday the high is 44 degrees! 

Good thing that I have a million coats, gloves, beanies, and scarves. 

Too bad that is not even going to be enough when it really gets to winter time...

Everyone, feel free to send me anything to keep me warm. 

And I seriously mean ANYTHING!

hot cocoa is a good thing too. 

Well recently I have been the ice caves, a cabin, shot a gun, partied in Idaho Falls, celebrated my girl Addy's 18TH BIRTHDAY! She is just so grown up now. 

We have also had the cops called on Addy's party and our fire alarm went off in our apartment complex due to stupid girls across the hall thinking that it would be a good idea to turn on a FOG MACHINE IN OUR APARTMENTS THAT THE WINDOWS DON'T OPEN AND WE DON'T HAVE FANS!

Stupid girls. 

I got this when I was home. Nothing surprised me. Bummer. 

This was the greatest part about coming home <3

I received the greatest letter from Spencer Frame. It was post cards all cut up front and back written on and a picture. Oh goodness I was so happy. 

I dyed my hair again. Burgundy streak in my hair. 

legit. 

this was before. I don't have an after picture yet. 

This is what happens when I'm gone. Becca and Addy destroy my lovely bed. 

It wasn't made when I got home... But I still love them with my whole freaking LIFE!

Today we went to church and we got there on time and everything. So it is really hard to go to church when you have relief society then sunday school then Sacrement meeting. We made it there even when it was cold and the wind was blowing and we had to walk to church like we walk everywhere. 

Greatest thing ever, makes you appreciate everything a lot more when you have to walk everywhere and when you don't have all the luxuries of home. 

Well that was a pretty decent update. That's for you caden! love you :) and everyone else too!

...this is really happening...

I can't believe that it is September 29th. That means Devin comes home tomorrow!!!!!!
I am currently sitting in my lovely apartment in Rexburg, Idaho waiting for my brother to come pick me up so that we can travel to Idaho Falls to fly home!
This is all actually happening! I seriously had to pinch myself. Unbelievable.

Well, in about 24 hours my family will all be reunited again.
I am the happiest girl in this world right now.
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

I should update about what has happened this past week.
Last Saturday my roommate ended up in the hospital. My lovely little joy had an ovarian cyst rupture! Poor baby girl. Saddest thing I have seen in a while. But everything is fine now, thank goodness! Me, Addy, and Becca believe that this happened from Joy shaken it too much at the crazy dance party we went to the night before. Who knows. But it was an eventful weekend!

This week has been nothing but countdowns.
Countdowns to when homework assignments are due.
Countdown to when I get to go home
Countdown to when I get to see Devin.

Geeeeez. I am so excited.

My flight leaves in T minus 1.5 hours.
fjdklsajfierhsgjkfdajsfkdjsaklfjsda.

Last night I decided to do something brilliant.
I changed my relationship status on Facebook to "engaged" then I put a picture on of me with an "engagement ring" on. 

and this was the picture. yes, it really is my hand. but are you kidding!?
seriously everyone who though I was really engaged, what were you thinking....
I am only 18 and I am pretty sure I would have been in a relationship before getting engaged.
And I have only been at school for about a month!
But I did get some great reactions. And special thanks to Zach Burton for playing along so well. He made everyone believe it. Love that kid.

here is what the ring reallllllly looks like :)

My mommy got my this ring for graduation. It is my birthstone.

But I apologize to all the people who really believed me. But it was funny.
I will make sure never to do that again till I really am engaged :) 

another week of college.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my teachers. 

They are seriously so freaking weird. 

Finance, Brother Rhoton, so funny. His son is in the class. so great. they were arguing today. hahahahahhhahahahfhahah. awk.

College Success, Brother Hazard, little funny old man. he gave me 10/10 on an assignment that was clearly late.  i love this man already!

Book of Mormon, not gonna lie I don't know my teachers name.. But he is a good man.

Beauty and Creativity, Brother Vaughn, craziest person I have ever met. he draws cans of "soop" and "sup". he is a funny guy. 

American Foundations, who cares, I dislike this class more than Addy Baldwin dislikes rules. 

Science Foundations, Brother Anderson, chillest man alive. So legit. we have already experimented with Termites and thumb wars. i love science now! and my group.

this week went by sooooooo fast.
college has corrupted me. actually, addy baldwin, joy houchins and becca nygaard have corrupted. entirely.

dear everyone, i bleached my hair and dyed it....twice!! my hair is no longer virgin hair. so depressing.

first attempt was an epic faillllll.

bright bright orange.
alright, its cool. but yeah, it was toooo much and it was supposed to be red anyways.

it was all supposed to be red, and it was orange on all of us! me and addy loved being part ginger for about twenty four hours though.

then the next night we tried again.

REDPURPLE!
so much better. You can't really see it here but i also have it on the top of my hair too.
it's hot.

addy's hair is siiiickkkkkk.

college is fun.

and the greatest news of all...
DEVIN COMES HOME IN ONE WEEK EVERYONE!
ONE FREAKIN FLIPPIN FETCHIN WEEK!

 getting the group back together. 
i am so excited to finally be with all my brothers at the same time and place. together. again.

 is he not the cutest!?

 he is seriously my hero.

I can't wait to have these goofy crazy times again.

well we all know that my family has not been under "normal" circumstances these past five years. and definitely not in this past year and a half.
Yes, i think we are all more than excited to have Devin home. Even people that aren't related to us can't wait for him to be home. Devin is probably one of the most genuine people i have ever met. he is the nicest, most considerate, humble, caring person that i know.

ladies, he will be very much available when he gets home.

only one more week <3